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Two years ago, my life took a strange turn when I lost an eye to a angry Black-and-white Colobus monkey while on an African safari. Since that time, I have moved to Alameda to pursue my dream of a creating a firing range featuring little monkeys ed Bad Monkey Ranch. The monkeys would feature full body suits of premium alloy protection to shield them from rifle and pistol shots.
I currently own monkeys that I blast with a rifle every day. Although my idea sound far fetched, numerous studies have shown that monkeys exposed to life-threatening bursts of adrenaline on a daily basis actually live longer compared to those monkeys cooped up in zoos. Not only the monkeys have a great time roaming free in a field of gunfire, but the citizens of Alameda who have been victim of a monkey attack have a opportunity to seek vengeance in a, life preserving manner.
According to an independent survey, over a half-dozen people living in Alameda have experienced a monkey attack within the past twenty years. These are sure to increase and thus the number of people seeking a monkey firing range grow infinitely in the years to come. Unfortunately, animal rights organizations, the City of Alameda, and the Alameda Times have balked at my idea.
The Times even had the nerve to me "crazy" in a recent phone conversation. The public deserves to know about the quasi-tyrannical local government that rules the city of Alameda with no concern for those wishing to let off steam by firing on a feisty little monkey. I this tale serves as a cautionary story. Massive restriction on a woman's right to choose, designed to trigger a challenge to Roe v. Paid for by taxes on the middle class insurance plan you have right now through your employer, causing them to cut back benefits and increase co-ays 6.
Grants monopolies to to companies that keep generic versions of expensive biotech from ever coming to market. The report said rates of new infections have remained relatively stable in east, Western and Central Europe and North. But the HIV incidence has steadily increased in the Middle East and north Africa while in Eastern Europe and central a decline was reversed in mid-decade with new infections rising slightly from to.